The Smile that Hides
Mar 13, 2025
In college, I had this friend who was always smiling. Let’s call him Sean. Sean was the type of guy that could light up a room and make everyone feel welcome. His positive energy was infectious. Every time I saw Sean, his mouth was turned up in a big, bright smile.
There’s one particular encounter with Sean that I still remember. I was on campus and I saw him walking ahead of me. He didn’t look like his usual self. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes were downcast. He looked worn out.
I watched as a small group of people approached Sean. When they got close enough they waved to him. “Hey Sean!” The second he noticed them, he popped up. His back straightened, he plastered on that bright smile and enthusiastically waved back at his friends. Then, the second the group turned the corner, Sean slumped, once again looking exhausted.
Smiles are beautiful. They light up the eyes and share joy… most of the time. And sometimes, they hide our true feelings.
Why Smiles Hide
Smiles can be a convincing mask that cover feelings we don’t want other people to see. It’s okay to hold that mask up occasionally; sometimes it’s appropriate to uphold an air of politeness, because not everyone deserves your vulnerability. However, we forget that it is also okay to let the mask fall to reveal our authentic feelings.
We hold up our smile masks to protect ourselves from judgment and to protect others from discomfort and pain. We may be using our smiles to hide sadness, shame, stress, fear, embarrassment, or some other difficult emotion. Smiles shelter us from vulnerability. In some circumstances, this be a helpful shield, and in others, it may be an obstacle keeping us from the support we need.
It is only when we let down our masks and face the world with honesty that we open ourselves to true connection.
Smiling Authentically
At Counterfeit Emotions, we are all about authenticity. I believe that the most peaceful way to live is to live authentically. That means living in a way that is true to who you are.
Pay attention to how you use your smile. Are you using it to express joy or excitement? Maybe wonder or relief? Are you using it to skirt around conflict? To avoid concern? To persuade?
Use your smile for the good of yourself and the good of others. And in times when your smile is hurting more than helping, set it aside for a moment. Take time to feel what you need to feel. Your smile will still be there when you decide to pick it back up.
Visit our emotion school to learn more about what it means to live authentically.
